The Man with Two Wives

There once lived a man who had married two wives,
His neighbors amazed, exclaimed: "Sakes alive!
Why one is too fat and the other too lean—
One's sixty I'm sure, and the other eighteen.
The old one is sober and settled and gray
The young one is handsome and frisky and gay—
For one he's too young, for the other too old!"
These were the stories his kind neighbors told,
One was older—they knew she was older than he—
That her hair was much grayer they plainly could see.
"That young girl to marry a gray-headed fool!
'Tis plain she's not fit to be taken from school."
So to give him a quiet and dignified air,
His old wife pulled from his head every black hair.
Now the young wife, not liking him called her "old man,"
Said, "I'll make him look young if I possibly can."
Twas vain for him to frown, to swear or to scold,
She pulled out the gray hairs that made him look old.
So between them 'tis said, though 'tis sad to relate,
He did look so queer with his shining bald pate.
Though more than one friend your love may deserve, There is but one master you truly can serve.
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